Funny Status

  1. Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
  2. If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
  3. A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
  4. Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
  5. When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
  6. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  7. A BOSS is like a diaper… Always on your ass, and usually full of Shi***t
  8. Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
  9. Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
  10. When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.
  11. I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
  12. Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
  13. Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
  14. If you are player then I’m the GAME.
  15. Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.
  16. Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
  17. Scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal this status.
  18. Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
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